Over the past few days, there has been a consistent message coming through loud and clear: Serve. Let me clarify...This has come through my Bible study, the church sermon, my psychology reading (Happiness Hypothesis), and my MOOC on emotionally intelligent leadership. Oh, it probably has been mentioned at work, and I was reminded of it when reviewing my sorority core values. As I mentioned...It's been a pretty consistent message.
To go a little into my background, service used to be a solid part of my life. I began volunteering at inner-city VBS programs in 4th grade. In middle school I would regularly go to the food pantry. High school brought mission trips over the summer. Then somewhere in college, things began to get complicated. Which is weird since I have a degree in non-profit management. However, somewhere in college, my service began to be "what's in it for me?" Does it count towards class credit? Can I earn a scholarship with it? Will it help my grad school application? I was still doing service, but I noticed a definite change in my heart.
Then came grad school. Service outside of what was required for my job or what would benefit me really seemed to go out the window. Yes, I served (and still serve) as philanthropy advisor for chapters of my sorority, but that is more sharing knowledge on event planning. I wasn't (and still don't much) serving my community. I used the excuse of no time and no money. Nothing was convenient. I knew I should volunteer, and I regularly researched opportunities, however I never stepped up.
Now the message is clear. I need to serve my community. The Bible calls me to it. Psychology says I will be overall happier if I do. Emotional Intelligence says I will be a better leader and improve the lives of those I work with professionally. It's time to stop making excuses and respond to the call.
Monday, November 17, 2014
Wednesday, November 12, 2014
Pruning
Sometimes I really wonder what I'm thinking when I volunteer for things or commit to new things. Shortly after joining my church here in NC, I agreed to teach the young adult Sunday school (as in...within 6 weeks of visiting for the first time). Now, this was huge because I hadn't regularly attended church in over 3 years. I'm not quite sure what they were thinking agreeing to let me teach. BUT...sometimes they best way to learn is to teach.
This past week, the lesson really stuck out to me. It hit close to thoughts I've been having and gave a Biblical basis to my thoughts. I guess God was helping me discern what he was already telling me.
John 15 shares the story of Jesus being the True Vine. Jesus provides us sustaining life such as the vine provides water and nutrients to the grapes. The story continues that God is the gardener. God removes the branches that bear no fruit, and prunes those that produce fruit.
Wait...God prunes his children. Pruning still involves cutting and trimming! That's painful! However, while I don't know much about gardening, I do know that pruning removes dead or sick parts of a plant to allow the good fruit and branches to grow and thrive. That is what God does for us. He prunes the things in our life that hold us back and make us spiritually sick. It might hurt at the moment, but it allows our True Vine to provide more nutrients to the healthy parts so that we bear more good fruit in the world.
I had already realized areas in my life that needed pruning. From still using alcohol as a coping mechanism some times, to knowingly fostering and seeking the wrong types of friendships, I still have a lot of room to grow in my Christian life. Lately, I've felt my depression slowly creeping back into my life. I think this is God's way of showing me that it's time for a pruning. Sometimes God prunes by force, but I think other times God opens our eyes so that we work with him. I'm beginning to make more conscious decisions about how I spend my time, who I spend it with, and how I cope with frustrations. It's a slow process, but it's time to prune the sick, damaging parts of my life out so that I can bear more of the good fruit!
I am the true vine, and my Father is the vinegrower. He removes every branch in me that bears no fruit. Every branch that bears fruit he prunes to make it bear more fruit.
John 15: 1-2
This past week, the lesson really stuck out to me. It hit close to thoughts I've been having and gave a Biblical basis to my thoughts. I guess God was helping me discern what he was already telling me.
John 15 shares the story of Jesus being the True Vine. Jesus provides us sustaining life such as the vine provides water and nutrients to the grapes. The story continues that God is the gardener. God removes the branches that bear no fruit, and prunes those that produce fruit.
Wait...God prunes his children. Pruning still involves cutting and trimming! That's painful! However, while I don't know much about gardening, I do know that pruning removes dead or sick parts of a plant to allow the good fruit and branches to grow and thrive. That is what God does for us. He prunes the things in our life that hold us back and make us spiritually sick. It might hurt at the moment, but it allows our True Vine to provide more nutrients to the healthy parts so that we bear more good fruit in the world.
I had already realized areas in my life that needed pruning. From still using alcohol as a coping mechanism some times, to knowingly fostering and seeking the wrong types of friendships, I still have a lot of room to grow in my Christian life. Lately, I've felt my depression slowly creeping back into my life. I think this is God's way of showing me that it's time for a pruning. Sometimes God prunes by force, but I think other times God opens our eyes so that we work with him. I'm beginning to make more conscious decisions about how I spend my time, who I spend it with, and how I cope with frustrations. It's a slow process, but it's time to prune the sick, damaging parts of my life out so that I can bear more of the good fruit!
I am the true vine, and my Father is the vinegrower. He removes every branch in me that bears no fruit. Every branch that bears fruit he prunes to make it bear more fruit.
John 15: 1-2
Friday, November 7, 2014
Finding True Love
I feel like every young girl grows up hoping to find true love. With so many romance movies, whether Disney, Romantic Comedy, Action with some Romance, etc, it's no wonder! I was, and am still, no different. I have spent more time than I care to admit hoping to find true love.
I've done it all I feel like. Tried dating classmates, friends, and guys in my residence hall. I have used EHarmony, Plenty of Fish, and yes...even Tindr. Eventually, I started lowering my standards. The cute guy at the bar? Who may only be cute because I'm drunk? Sure! Eventually, sex started leading to relationships instead of the other way around.
I hit a point where I was no longer happy with my relationships. I knew that I couldn't find the love of my life if I kept looking in the same places. But where to try next? Online dating didn't seem to work for me, bar dating CLEARLY didn't work, and I felt like all of peer group was already in long-term relationships.
June 1st, I realized I had to make a change. How could I find the man of my dreams if I kept being distracted by the man of right now. I made a commitment to abstinence, self-improvement, and trying to rebuild my relationship with God. I took to heart the idea that you need to be a person who you would want to date.
Through all this I have realized many things. Being single is HARD! At 25, I look around and the majority of my friends and peer group are married or in long-term partnerships, and some even have kids! It's easy to feel left out of discussions because I just don't get it yet. Also, why is it that every other article on my facebook feed is about dating, finding the right man, how you know who to marry...Is that all anyone thinks about?
I think the biggest lesson I have learned though is this- I have found true love. I have a Father in Heaven who has already given so much to me. He accepts me as I am, challenges me, and helps me grow. I used to hear the following saying and laugh -A woman's heart should be so hidden in God that a man has to seek Him to find her (Max Lucado). It didn't make sense to me. Now, I better understand. Instead of spending my time on dating sites, I should be reading my Bible. Instead of being at the bar looking for potential dates, I should be fostering my Christian friendships. Instead of dates with guys who I KNOW don't meet my standards, I should be serving my community in God's name.
When the time is right, God will bring the right man to me. Until then, I will continue to fall madly in love with God and foster that relationship. It's not always easy, but it makes so much more sense!
Monday, November 3, 2014
In Good Company
I've heard through the years a lot about the importance of who I spend time with day to day. There is the idea that you can tell a lot about a person by who is around them. There is also the idea that you become like the 5 people you spend are around the most. Keeping good company appears to be very important.
I used to be a very social person. I still am to an extent, though I value my alone time much more than I did in college. I've noticed a distinct change in the people I hang out with though. In high school and college, I worked hard to be accepted by the company I felt I should keep. This meant compromising my morals and values to fit in sometimes. Alcohol made it easier to hang out with people who I wouldn't normal "fit" with so I could be part of the group. I would go along with what guys wanted in order to not be "that girl" and to feel accepted.
Somewhere along the way I realized I was becoming like those I spent my time with each day. I wasn't growing in my faith, in fact I quit going to church at all after befriending some outspoken atheists. I was drinking more, smoking cigarettes more, and honestly debating weed for the first time ever.
Moving to North Carolina, I knew I wanted to get connected to good company. I had rekindled my relationship with Jesus over the summer, and so I quickly sought after a church family. Multiple times throughout the Old and New Testament, we hear about the importance of communing with brothers and sisters in Christ. While we are told to go out in to the world and be a testimony, I have realized the importance of having good company by your side both when you go and when you come home.
I am very thankful for the good company I have found both in my peers at Salem College and at Ardmore UMC. I feel supported and welcomed without judgment. Sometimes it's better to be surrounded by a small group of good company than part of a large crowd pulling you away from yourself.
I used to be a very social person. I still am to an extent, though I value my alone time much more than I did in college. I've noticed a distinct change in the people I hang out with though. In high school and college, I worked hard to be accepted by the company I felt I should keep. This meant compromising my morals and values to fit in sometimes. Alcohol made it easier to hang out with people who I wouldn't normal "fit" with so I could be part of the group. I would go along with what guys wanted in order to not be "that girl" and to feel accepted.
Somewhere along the way I realized I was becoming like those I spent my time with each day. I wasn't growing in my faith, in fact I quit going to church at all after befriending some outspoken atheists. I was drinking more, smoking cigarettes more, and honestly debating weed for the first time ever.
Moving to North Carolina, I knew I wanted to get connected to good company. I had rekindled my relationship with Jesus over the summer, and so I quickly sought after a church family. Multiple times throughout the Old and New Testament, we hear about the importance of communing with brothers and sisters in Christ. While we are told to go out in to the world and be a testimony, I have realized the importance of having good company by your side both when you go and when you come home.
I am very thankful for the good company I have found both in my peers at Salem College and at Ardmore UMC. I feel supported and welcomed without judgment. Sometimes it's better to be surrounded by a small group of good company than part of a large crowd pulling you away from yourself.
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